forecast for the new year : a cold bum.

I believe that I would have the majority behind me when I say that this time of year is especially special for new beginnings, new aspirations, and for a new-found and positive outlook on life. Such is the case for yours truly. Last year, for me, was full of both great and terrible memories. I will always treasure the great ones; however, I hope to learn from the terribles and then swiftly erase them from memory.

I used to fear change. If 'change' were a person, she, to me, would have been the most gorgeous and unbelievably beautiful girl that you would see every time that you went to the fourth floor of the library to study. The kind of girl that when you saw her, your frame shook with uncomfortableness and thoughts of inadequacy.There she would be, intently skimming over some intelligent book, while shyishly gnawing on the tip of her retractable pen. Her hair, golden, straight, and twitching with every move that she made. Occasionally, it would even attempt to move on its own by creeping down to cover her face as if it wanted her to pay more attention to it than to the book in her hands; but she would quickly tuck it back behind her ear where it would stay for a while longer. Her skin, pleasant and tinted with the perfect amount of color to show that she was full of life. Her swagger of self-confidence would be more contagious and threatening than most sexually transmitted diseases have proved themselves to be. And her face...oh, that face! Angels themselves, coming directly from the presence of God do not have a face like her. With eyes that pierce your soul; in fact, you have felt it before when one time, you walked by and she looked up at you. At that moment, you lost a piece of your soul that you'll never find again. Her smile, to be honest, could be under Webster's definition of the word 'perfection'.

I do not feel that I need to continue with my description [ I think that you get my point ]. I used to fear change like I feared the girl of my dreams. However, just as it is with the beautiful girl, you will never know if anything good will happen between you and 'change' if you don't walk up, introduce yourself, and ultimately 'jump in the deep end' without your floaties, without your dad there to catch you, and without any forethought of asking yourself negative questions like "What if...". I have learned that you simply have to ask yourself [as my friends and I always say] "What's livin' if you never pull your shorts down and slide on the ice?"

To be brief, right now my butt is on the ice and it's freezing cold. I have jumped into the water and I'm kicking and paddling as hard as my body can handle. And I am actually starting conversation with the girl in the library. In other words, instead of fearing change....I have embraced it.

As the organized person that I naturally am, I enjoy making lists. So, here is a short list of some of the major changes that I have made or have embraced over the past few days, weeks, and months: 1) Relationship status from long-time 'taken' to optimistically 'single' 2) Major focus of my education from one thing to another 3) Temporarily unemployed to working two jobs 4) Not being involved at all to being involved in two amazing programs that allow me to grow and meet new people daily 5) Moving from an awesome complex where people that I love and admire have supported me for so long to a new place with new roommates, and hopefully new adventures; and finally, 6) From fearful to fearless.

Now, I do not wish to lead you astray by causing you to think that I have absolutely nothing that I am afraid of, so allow me to explain. I believe, from experience, that the reason people fear change so much is because it is uncomfortable, it is different, and it is difficult. So when I say that I am in the process of becoming fearless, I am simply becoming 'addicted' to that feeling of discomfort which helps me to grow, progress, and develop who I really am deep down. I am still afraid of things like snakes, and tornadoes, and scary movies, but the difference is that I am no longer building barriers in my life that limit myself from reaching my potential. I have never been imprisoned or had my natural freedoms taken from me, but I am pretty sure that what I feel now is what it feels like to be free.

Unshackle your chains, break down your barriers, replace "I can't" with "I will", and pull your shorts down and slide on that ice...it's chilly, but man is it worth it!

Here's to a fresh start.


Cheers.